there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
