If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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