Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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