all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
