So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
