So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
