two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
