wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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