my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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