I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
