Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
There's even glitter on my cock...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
