I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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