Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Text me some of your sweat
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize