Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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