Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My vagina just clenched in fear
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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