Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm always down for nudity.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
