hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
