omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
