I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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