he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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