Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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