So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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