If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
