he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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