the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
