There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
