Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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