I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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