I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
