My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
