i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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