I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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