idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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