You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
