For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
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Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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