Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
