Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
