WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
