Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
