I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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