So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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