I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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