I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
