Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize