Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
