just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
why is half of my head shaved?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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