ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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