break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Your tits are I can't wait for
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have post one night stand depression
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
