C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
