everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
