Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
