I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Floor bacon is actually really good
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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