I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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