i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
