I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
