Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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