Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
