Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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