I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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